Let's Talk About Emotions, Let’s talk about our Feelings! (And if you just sang that to the tune of Salt-N-Pepa’s “Let’s Talk About Sex”...you’re my kind of person!)

If you’re a high-achieving woman, you’ve probably mastered the art of getting things done. You juggle work, family, and the occasional attempt at self-care (usually involving scrolling on your phone under a weighted blanket). But when it comes to energy & emotions—oh boy—where’s the manual? 

Emotional Mastery Leads to Better Leadership for All, Ourselves Included!

What I’ve come to appreciate as I continue to dive into my own world of feeling(s), is that there is a deep correlation between my emotions and my levels of energy. Emotional Intelligence has become my secret energy hack—and it can be yours too.

Before 2021, “energy” to me was simple—you either had it or you didn’t. I blamed exhaustion on my busy schedule, lack of sleep, and the never-ending demands of adulting. It wasn’t until I dove into energy coaching that I realized something deeper was at play: the constant, invisible exchange between my thoughts, emotions, and energy.

For example, emotions like frustration, self-doubt, or resentment—those low-frequency emotions—drain energy without us even realizing it. Have you ever found yourself stuck in a cycle of overwhelm or frustration, where everything feels heavy, like you’re trudging through mud? That’s low energy at play. These emotions may seem like “just part of the process,” but they actually pull our energy down, preventing us from fully leading ourselves or others. Instead of feeling fueled and inspired, we can feel sluggish, uninspired, and disconnected from possibility or potential. 

This is where Emotional Intelligence (EI) steps in: when we understand how to work with our energy and emotions effectively, we unlock powerful stress management and personal growth tools. These tools help us stay focused, motivated, and energized throughout the day, leading to peak performance.

Here’s the deal: mastering our emotions isn’t about controlling them, stuffing them down, or pretending they don’t exist. It’s about understanding how they work and their relationship to our thoughts and beliefs, so we can use them on our own behalf.

And spoiler alert: They’re not here to sabotage us and there is no need to kick 'em to the curb…in fact, I believe that’ll do the opposite of what you’re going after! Our emotions can be our most powerful tool for success, fulfillment, and crushing it without crashing.

I’ve come to understand emotions as energy in motion. They’re meant to flow through us, not set up permanent residency in our body. When processed, they pass and move through easily. But suppress them? They get stuck—causing stress, anxiety, or even physical symptoms. I firmly believe that our bodies often communicate through discomfort. For example, shoulder tension can reflect emotional burdens, and digestive issues can point to having trouble ‘digesting’ a situation. Stay tuned—we’ll have some fun exploring this more in an upcoming post!

Stress: The Silent Energy Drain 

As a high-achieving woman myself, I believe it’s because we’re constantly ON, juggling work deadlines, family commitments, and, let's not minimize the mental load of remembering everyone's birthdays. Stress (and our response to it!) is like a silent energy drain, and if we don’t manage it, it impacts not just our productivity but also our relationships and health.

Look around, and there’s evidence everywhere that stress leads to breakdown…in our physical bodies, our communication, and our relationships. And everyone pays the price. Emotional regulation plays a huge role in managing stress, but to regulate effectively, we first need to recognize, acknowledge, and cultivate the capacity to improve the quality of our responses.

Thought vs. Emotion: Which Comes First? (The Answer Might Surprise You)

Ah, the classic chicken-or-egg debate. Do thoughts create emotions, or do emotions spark thoughts? According to American psychologist and author, Daniel Goleman (Emotional Intelligence), emotions often fire up before our rational brain even knows what’s happening. This is thanks to the amygdala, the brain’s emotional (flight or fight) command centre, which reacts to stimuli much faster than our logical prefrontal cortex can process them.

Translation?

Your emotions react before your rational brain even clocks what’s happening. This means you can form an emotional response—an unconscious opinion—before you even realize what triggered it or why. Ever snapped at someone and thought, Whoa, where did that come from? That’s your amygdala pulling the strings before your rational brain catches up. 

Emotions often get a bad rap, seen as obstacles to productivity or signs of weakness. But it's not the emotions themselves; it’s our resistance to them that creates stress. Get curious about your emotions, and work WITH them instead of being hijacked by them.

Boost Your Energy with This Simple Hack

I’ve become fascinated by the concept that thoughts are electrical, and emotions are magnetic. So, the thoughts we think, and the feelings we have are attracting our experiences. And as I get curious about why some experiences stay with us and why some are easily forgotten, I must give credit to the emotion for ‘keeping’ the experience in place, like a strong magnet. 

I believe that the emotional charge is what holds unwanted thoughts, beliefs or experience firmly in place. Lower the charge, and the ‘magnet’ weakens, making it easier to shift your state.

One energy hack is learning to shift our energetic state on purpose, and no longer being at the mercy of our mood. By using techniques like EFT or breathwork, we can quickly process and release negative emotions and restore our energy, leading to better focus and productivity.

Want more quick and fun ways to shift your energy on purpose? Play music, go outside, or do something that makes you laugh. Energy flows where attention goes—shift your focus, shift your state!

Emotional Intelligence: Your Secret Superpower

Developing Emotional Intelligence (EI) is about working with our built-in emotional guidance system. It’s your ticket to personal growth, helping you navigate your emotional landscape with greater ease and insight. And as a leader, it’s crucial for sustainable growth, success, and impact.

EI doesn’t just mean understanding our emotions—it’s about knowing how to navigate high-stakes situations with clarity and grace. As a high-achiever, we want to build trust and collaboration within our teams, but if we’re always on edge or reactive, it becomes impossible. Emotional intelligence lets us to lead with empathy and authenticity, creating an environment where we and our team can thrive.

As we continue to build our EI muscle it will allow us to lean more effectively into the ‘blowback’ that may arise when our thoughts and emotions conflict. You may have experienced this when trying positive affirmations—if a part of you doesn’t fully believe the words, it creates internal resistance. This is because your emotions and beliefs aren’t aligned with the statement yet.

• Without EI: Emotions run the show. (Cue stress spirals, and regret-texting your ex.)
• With EI: You’re in charge. (Cue clarity, confidence, and actually enjoying life.)

A key aspect of self-awareness is recognizing the impact of your emotions on your behavior and decision-making, which allows you to make more conscious choices, rather than reacting automatically.

Moving forward, let’s choose to see these moments as sliding door moments for treasure-hunting, an invitation to embrace the emotion that is coming up, rather than battling it. 

As we enhance our emotional intelligence, we'll start moving toward emotional mastery.

Embracing the Inside-Out Approach

For most of my life, I saw my emotions as something to keep in check…at all times. But when the pandemic hit, my fast-paced life came to a screeching halt. The sudden stillness brought a roller coaster of emotions—fear, anxiety, grief, anger, all at once. I realized I had a choice: be overwhelmed by external chaos or get curious about what was going on ‘under the hood’. Choosing the latter, I embarked on a journey of self-leadership, fostering trust and collaboration within myself.

As I continue studying energy healing, EFT tapping, and Emotional Intelligence, I’ve realized that emotions aren’t the enemy. They’re doorways into insight, growth and transformation when you approach them with curiosity and compassion. Embracing this perspective isn't a one-time fix but an ongoing practice that creates a ripple effect that improves the quality of our lives and the lives of those around us. And when we shift the way we see and work with them, we go from stress and struggle to ease and mastery.

Taking a moment to tune into our emotions isn’t about slowing down–it’s about becoming more efficient and effective in solving problems, prioritizing, and sifting through distractions.

Let’s make emotions fun, safe, and even a little bit sexy. Because when you get this, life stops feeling like an uphill battle—and starts feeling like something you could actually look forward to and enjoy. And perhaps even fall madly in love with.

Up Next: EFT for the Modern Woman: The Stress-Relief Technique Every Busy Woman Should Know

This is just the beginning. In my next blog, we’ll dive into EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques)—one of the most effective tools, in my humble opinion, for shifting energy fast.

In the meantime, try this: The next time an emotion arises, see if you can pause, acknowledge it, and consciously choose how you want to respond. I’d love to hear how it goes!